10 Tips for College: "How to Get Away With Murder."

By Shane Burrell 

When many of us began college the idea on our minds was, "I'm going to make these years different." Well although some of us have made a difference with the time we spent in college our academics, clubs and other various projects that we decided to join. The main thing we can all agree on is some of us have partied a little harder than most. Jumping out of windows and landing in bushes, or taking way to many drugs while were at one of the biggest raves in the world. Either way partying is sometimes the only way that some of us can let off some steam, but here are a few ways that you can prevent yourself from jumping out of windows, trust me not the best idea.

1) Buddy System

By the time you've decided you want to go out, I'm sure that all of your friends have been asking to go. You probably said you were busy to a few of them that you can only stand for a few minutes at a time. But said yes to your best friends or at least the people that you can stand for more than five minutes. Now remember when you go out you should always have your friends with you. This way if you are going to start a drunken fight you have your friends to back you up. 

2) Pre-gaming

Pre-gaming is one of the more intricate parts of college life. Many of us college students don't have enough money to buy all the drinks that we want when we are at the bar. Lets face it, drinks are just super expensive when you are on a college budget. And by college budget I mean constantly asking your parents for money, although a college budget has some perks. Pre-gaming for example lets you drink as much as you can in your car as fast as you can, without throwing up, and then head out to the bars. Remember in this case its best to have a Buddy System because if you get to wasted then you have a sober friend that is able to drive you home. 

  

3) At said Club
When you are at said club you should always remember that you are a part of a larger group of people that are being watched at all times. Girls, Guys, it doesn't matter, you are now a unit within the system in which just walked into. But don't be alarmed this is just how the game works. First you have to get yourself something to drink, but if the line is long make sure that you get two of whatever because you never know if the line will keep on growing or if there will be someone there that catches your eye.

4) The Mishaps 
Although most of the time when you are at the club or bar you might find yourself drinking a little more than you thought you should have. This is where your Buddy System comes into play in more ways than just a bar fight. Typically when you go out with a bunch of people you should always have someone that doesn't drink so they can drive everyone home. Unless you guys planned ahead and have a hotel room then everything is fair game, just make sure you guys don't get to trashed.

5) Hangover

Being college students we sometimes don't think about how drinking the night before we have an 8 a.m. class will effect us in any way that's negative. Common mistake! Drinking the night before you have a class in the morning is never a good idea, but is something that happens to all of us. But when you wake up in the morning only 20 minutes before your class starts you must bring what you need to survive. Mouth wash: even after you brush your teeth because no matter what your breathe will be KICKIN. Water, the day after pill aka Tylenol and crackers. Its unlikely that you'll be able to keep anything down anyways. 

6) HOMEWORK

Yes, homework. Now I'm sure I know what your thinking right now, "WTF?" Yeah trust me, I'm thinking the same thing as I'm writing it, but it is something that will allow you to get a good grade and be able to have a free weekend or in some cases, another weekday. Lets face it when you get your homework done you have it done and out of the way and in some cases you could have a better grade even if you bombed your last test. 

7) Getting Personal

Getting personal with your peers is helpful in many ways, and by this I mean more than just the nasty. But getting to know your professors and the people that are in your major. Professors will be more likely to cut you some slack when you need it, or when your lying about your hangover and sending them emails saying that your "sick" or that your car broke down even though you live on campus. Getting to know the people in your major is also useful because most of them have already taken the classes that you need and will sell the textbooks for dirt cheap. This way you have more money to go out and a friend that will let you know if the professor ever changes his quizzes or not. 

8) Know When Enough is ENOUGH!

Now I'm sure your thinking, "I know when I've had enough," go ahead and keep telling yourself that. I'm sure that we all have had that night when we wake and ask, "what the hell happened last night?" Still thinking you know when enough is enough? A Buddy System is super helpful in this case. This is when you can count on your friends to take you out of the party, and throw you in a cold shower because at that point that's when your going to need one and then when you wake up they can tell you how much of an ASS you made out of yourself. 

9) Have a Best Friend
Sometimes you have those days when life is just a little harder to handle than usual, this is when you have your best friend come in and make everything just a little better. College is hard and challenging, but that's what this whole college experience is about really. Making the friends that will last a life time, and making the mistakes that might have some long term effects on you. But hey that's why you have a best friend, so you can bitch.

10) Graduate
Nothing says "F*&% You," more than when you graduate. For all the people that called you dumb stupid, or were just total dicks to you growing up. That will always be one of he biggest achievements in your life, so make sure you give them a big F*&% You!

But just remember that college is the place where you can make mistakes. Trust me your going to make A LOT of them, but as long as you learn from them and improve your life from them then ultimately that's what college is about. Learning things in life that are going to make you a better person. 

And that's How You Get Away With Murder.

Maybe Heteros know what they're talking about....

So typically Thursday nights me and Double D (Daniel DeMarco), come up to the pub and have a few drinks and talk about the experiences in life, sex, and many other aspects that we can share together, although we are somewhat different from each other as much as I like to say that we are alike. Well for starters we begun this little ritual when we started to working on our college newspaper this academic quarter. This being a new ritual, it is nice to have away time from the stresses of the newsroom. In any case Double D being straight as I mentioned before in my previous post and I am gay also as I have mentioned before. 

In any case we started this conversation in why straight guys don't like to have sex with every girl that they see? Now to my assumption I would have thought that straight guys would have this crazy insatiable sex drive, but that wasn't the case. 

From what Double D said, most straight guys that are actually trying to have something with someone are typically not going to have sex with any girl they find in a bar. 

Ok, so on some level I guess that is understandable. But I'm sure that if I found some guy that I could talk to in bar and he was handsome and the conversation was good, then why wouldn't I want to go home with him? But that could always play into the fact that I'm kinda slutty, but hey, it would be nice. 

So Double D continues and to be perfectly honest I couldn't understand how he would have only been with the number of people that you could count on one hand, and if I actually counted I think I might need two people to count, and I'm sure that I would have to used their toes. 

He continued with his anecdotes of how his friends would tell him about the girls that would talk to him at bars and would leave not knowing that they were hitting on him at all. Now to me this sounds like an exaggeration, but knowing him and all of his honesty I wouldn't doubt that he was telling me the truth. 

So of course I had to tell him to come to a gay bar with me and we would find someone that would just tell him that they wanted to have sex with him. Although that wasn't something that excited him at all, even though he laughed. 

Again fascinated by the Heterosexuals once more. 

But he concluded with the fact that if he would be able to have sex with anyone that he wanted that, he wouldn't do it very much. Because having the intellectual conversation would be something that he wanted more than anything else. And to the people that actually wanted something from him would understand that having sex would not be something that would mean much in their relationship but rather having conversations that are worth having is what matters the most. 

And by this time I'm just sitting there thinking, "What the FUCK is wrong with you?" 

Of course of my better judgement I don't say anything, but I did also think of me and my boyfriend and all of the conversations that we have had as couple and from what Double D said, in all of its glorious "I told ya so's," that son of a bitch was right. Every conversation that was worth meaning i had with my boyfriend never led to sex or was never after sex, but was us sitting at the dinner table, which was his living room coffee table, and talking about things that actually mattered to us and to the world. 

sometimes you gotta give those Heteros credit.

Typically we talked about sex and our experiences that we are able to share with that, but almost undeniably when you talk about someone and their sexuality you must talk about their spiritual beliefs and how they reflect on them as a person. In which we saved for a later conversation but still is worth mentioning within this article. 

Double D and I share some common spiritual beliefs despite the details of the beliefs, it all just came down to us both not believing in God. Which most of the time we get into further discussions about how our families would have raised us or how we would view the people of the world and what not. But this conversation it really was a reflection on how people that have a spiritual belief in something has a tendency to have a negative view of you if you do not believe in the same thing as you do. 

Now mind you I know that this gets a little off of topic from the sex, but we allow the conversation to go where ever and its always something to listen to. 

But as the beer keeps coming and the conversation starts going all over the place we decide to make our way back to the newsroom to finish the work that we need to, although today its just me at the pub finishing my last beer and going to make my way outside for a smoke. 

I know I haven't written in a while but I'm happy to write this one. 

Would love to have your comments 

Always
Shane Burrell 

Marriage is not happiness

By Shane Burrell |Co-Writer|

In an earlier post by my Co-Writer DeMarco in which he talked about Divorce and how its really should be looked at as something that is helpful to someone's happiness in a bad marriage instead of something that is a social tragedy. Divorce as he says is helpful but i asked myself why most marriages dont work out in the first place? Most of us think that committing ourselves to our husband or wife through marriage is the ultimate solution to not being lonely anymore and be happy forever, well that just is not the case. Making the commitment of having a husband and or wife will change your life yes, but it will not stop you from feeling lonely and or having feelings that your significant other can not understand. I have listened to a few TEDX talks about love and belonging, and they have all said that being married does not solve the fact that your significant other will not completely understand you. We have close siblings and friends that are there for us when we need them the most, and most of these people have been there before we have met that other person. We have shared experiences with these people and have gone through life struggles with them as well. All of these struggles and experiences have gave us the relationship that we have with our families and friends. Now if we have been with significant other through these experiences of course your relationship will be stronger never the less, although it cant be said that you have shared all of your shit with them. The reason that we have best friends and really close siblings is because we share life experiences with them, even from a very young age. We allow ourselves to let go off all inhibitions and just be ourselves without worrying if someone will think differently about us. This not the same for our marriages. Because we will always have some inhibitions when we are with our significant other. We dont want them to think that we are stupid, or we want them to say we look pretty, so you buy nice clothes, get your hair done and what not. We have this unrealistic idea that the person that we call our significant other should be our other half. This is something that is profoundly dangerous. Because if we go through life thinking that there is someone out there that will complete us, then there will always be heartache and sorrow. Being married is a great celebration, but counting on someone being your partner for life and having them there because your happiness depends on it, is something that will always fail. We have siblings and best friends for these task, people that have seen us at our worst and our best, people that no matter what the case will always understand what your significant other can not. Having someone being there as our husband/wife will always have its benefits despite they can not completely understand you. Having your husband being there economically and emotionally are some of these contributors. Because we get married and share the our finances with them, meaning that you are able to think about having children and buying a new house, living in a place that is best for you and them. Emotionally you are able to confide in them by telling them some things that you feel comfortable with, expanding your life experiences from just your friends and family to someone that you love romantically. Being married although has some of its limitations will also bring new experiences and aspects to your life, although its a good idea to never lose those people that have brought you to this point and keep them as close as you can because as DeMarco says divorce could be the best solution to a bad marriage.

Divorce is a good thing.

By Daniel DeMarco |Co-Writer|

Divorce is a good thing.

Now I know that this statement will be met with plenty of immediate reactions of shock or disagreement, but I will submit to you that you are looking at it the wrong way.

What is the cause of a divorce? Well obviously the answer is a bad marriage leads to divorce.

The key word there is “bad.”

Our society looks at marriage as a great event and worth for much celebration, so when a marriage turns ugly of course it isn’t a good outcome.

If a marriage does indeed turn ugly though, why would it ever be the preferred process that the two people should have to suffer with each other?

Often time people will argue something like: “Well people shouldn’t give up so easily, they can make the marriage work out” or something along those same lines.

Keep in mind that divorces are very different than just breaking up a relationship.

A divorce is a legal process. And because it is a legal process rather than just a social process, there is money involved.

The average divorce nowadays will cost an individual around $15,000-20,000, not to mention the possible consequences of splitting property and even splitting or losing custody of kids. It is obviously a very different situation than meeting up with your partner and breaking up with them.

With this in mind, if divorce becomes a possible solution to a bad marriage, there must be some very good reasons to back it up.

Being in a toxic relationship is not a healthy benefit to any individual, and just because two people are legally married does not make the ill effects any lesser.

For these reasons, divorce is not something to be sad about or to offer pity and condolences to others for having experienced.

Also consider this: Have you ever heard of a good marriage coming to an end by divorce? Please respond if you have, I beg you, but I don’t expect that anyone has ever heard of this happening.

Good marriages don’t experience divorce, healthy marriages don’t have to deal with it. If they did, that would be the true tragedy, that would be a reason to be against divorce. But that never happens.

So at this point, I will submit to you that you should support friends or family that have to experience divorce. Don’t tell them you are sorry or that it is a shame that things worked out this way, they’re the ones going through it and I’m sure they feel bad enough.

Instead why not offer some support and comfort to the fact that they are ending something which was detrimental to their well-being? Why not celebrate that they have the option to leave the toxic relationship and to better themselves?

Divorce is a good thing. It is a chance for a new start.

Q&A with a Hetero and a Homo

Lately i have had some help with my blog from my good friend Daniel DeMarco aka DeMarco, coming up with concepts and ideas. Well this time we decided that we would do a Q&A kinda thing because he's straight and I'm gay. So we thought that we would talk about love and how it may differ from straight guys and gay guys, at least from our perspectives. So we kinda have went back and forth about it and this is what we came up with.

Me: time and time again when you have a hook up with someone you always have that person always looking for something else even when you tell them that this is just sex. So why does it always happen that they want more? I mean I'm sure that we have all been guilty of this in one way or another, me included but sometimes I think if straight guys go through the same thing? like is it only gay guys that are so clingy because not everyone is gay or is it because they don't want to be alone? for me I would hook up with someone and then find myself liking them but then I would later be disappointed because typically all they would want is sex or something or would just want to meet up at night at my house get drunk and then have sex. so why do gay guys always have sex and expect to have a husband like right after.

DeMarco: I can assure you that heterosexuals go through the same stuff, whether it be disappointing someone, or being disappointed the same way. A part of me feels like society has put high expectations upon love and relationships where people think there is something wrong with them if they haven't experienced love or if they aren't in a relationship all the time. We get surrounded by this image in advertising and media. It plays into the insecurities of people.

 But I can't deny that there are simply just times where genuine desire for someone occurs. Sometimes you are someone's desire, and sometimes you want more from another person. I have experienced both.

Me: yeah i mean of course media always plays a roll in this shit, its a way to show us what is hot and what is not. But i mean when someone is dating for like 3 weeks and all of a sudden they are deeply in love? what is that shit about. Ive seen alot of it in straight couples but gays, Jesus Christ those guys take everything on the fast track. I mean I'm gay and it usually takes me 6 months before i can even admit that i love a guy

DeMarco: You could be right that gay guys are always on the "fast track," but straight people aren't any better in my opinion. The whole "love" issue is something I've thought was interesting for a while now. It is hard to take someone seriously when that happens like you mentioned, a few weeks in and people are already spouting love around like any other word. 

To me, it shows a lack of respect for what love really is. Just a month or two ago, a friend of mine had a project for a philosophy class where a piece of it was defining "love." After about 45 minutes of back and forth discussion, we agreed that at the core, love is the feeling that you cannot live without something, that you are willing to give your life for whatever it may be. In that respect, way too many people are not being genuine with their choice of words.

Me: Yeah i totally agree i mean, when your dating someone for a few weeks and then tell them that you love them, i mean there is no meaning in that. Even if the person has strong feelings about the other. But love like you said should be the feeling that you cant live without them, but i mean sometimes i feel like when a guy says that they love another it has some stigmas tagged to it. Like there is almost something that has to be proven before they are able to say it or something.

DeMarco: Are you referring to guys in general, or strictly gay guys?

Me: gay guys, like for me when i told my boyfriend that i loved him, i felt like we had to go over a few steps before i was able to say it. Like having unprotected sex, PDA, brushing each others hair, you know petty shit but it was like there was a check list or something

DeMarco: That's interesting you say that, because I would say the typical scenario for straight guys in relationships is that they aren't getting anything extra UNTIL they say "I love you." Now of course that isn't always the case, but it is certainly a common theme in my opinion.

Me: yeah I'm sure that its a case by case kinda thing but for gay guys its like you have to prove yourself before you say i love you.But for me when i say i love you, its a point in our relationship that i am able to be vulnerable enough to be able to give you all of my heart and not reserve parts that i think that you wanna see

DeMarco: Out of the two options, I would say it is better having to prove yourself to say it, rather than having to say it to get more. I think that is where a lot of the dishonesty comes in, because people know that they can get what they want and all they have to do is say something that they don't have to actually mean. Does that make them an asshole? Sure it does, but the other person shouldn't be making it that easy in the first place. 

The way you're describing it is a fair way to. I think it is respectable and is something that could be presented earlier in the relationship when it seems apparent that things may be heading down that route. It'll let the other person know ahead of time what it really means if that time does finally arrive.

Me: yeah i think if your ready for that point in a relationship then you should be able to say it. And yes it does make you an asshole when you just say i love you just to get something out of it. 

In any case the word love is loosing its meaning with any relationship, gay or straight. 

In my case i have only said i love you to two guys and with my first one i became broken hearted and probably took me a year just to get over it. So long should it take you to get over someone? What do you do when you are trying to get over it?

DeMarco: It has definitely lost a lot of its meaning. It is too common nowadays. People WANT to be in love, they want to believe they're in love, they start looking for it and hoping for it. There's an old quote, "the easiest person to fool is yourself" and I believe that is very accurate in a lot of these cases of "love."

Well as long as my memory is working here, I've only said it to one girl, my girlfriend in my senior year of high school. Looking back on it now, I know that I was just one of those silly hopeful people that wanted to have something special, but in reality I didn't and just tricked myself into thinking I did. That whole experience was very helpful and taught me a lot, so I'm glad I went through it, but I am under no illusions about it being real love. 

As far as getting over someone, it is hard for me to say. I wasn't devastated when that little high school romance ended, and have never really been devastated. A few special girls have come and gone in my life, and I missed them yes, but I just make it right with myself. I move forward, I keep myself realistic and remind myself that there is more to life than a relationship or some girl. What other people seem to go through after break-ups is not something I have experienced. What I want to know, is if that is because I'm emotionally stronger than others, or because I just didn't have as strong of feelings.

Me: I'm not sure I like to think that I'm emotionally reserved for the most part. But when I feel love and the heartache of a break up, I cant control my emotions. I just have to let everything out. and it hurts, and sometimes I wish I would be able to just sit in my world alone and not be distracted by the world going on around me. But if I would do that, then I wouldn't be able to learn from the suffering that I would have to endure. But i guess that's love you become deep into it and learn from what you can, and when it explodes in your face you have to suffer but at least you learn from that too.

DeMarco: I try to control my emotions, or I have other ways of outlet than just the suffering over some type of pain. But then again, my day could be coming where I am broken too, I can't be too confident in my composure. 

But I think that's a big aspect of anything good, people aren't ready or thinking about when and if it goes bad. The way I look at life is that everything is pros and cons, and you just have to pick things for yourself where you feel like the pros outweigh the cons. Some people enjoy love and relationships so much that they are willing to go through the pain that may result, others would rather avoid it but they don't get to experience all the good things about love in exchange for avoiding any potential pain.

We had to cut our conversation a little short because were a little busy the both of us, but we both pretty much agreed that love shouldn't be a word that is thrown around so easily. Both straight and gay relationships are both at fault for using this word so uselessly. Although as it would show that straight couples almost you the word love as something that would be able to get them more out of girlfriend. And for gay couples you have to prove yourself to your boyfriend to show him that you really do love him. Also love is an emotion that is ultimately something that makes you do anything and everything for the person that you are in love with. Although there always is that part that makes you vulnerable to the person and therefore you are more easily hurt by that person you still are able to learn and make yourself a better person. DeMarco is right when it comes to love and life everything comes with pros and cons. 

Tips for Bad Sex

Sex, everything about this word makes almost everyone blush or at least they feel a little uncomfortable when someone around them is talking about sex. They give a giggle, blush, or just completely leave the room, but really when you think about it sex it probably one of the best things that two people would be able to have together. You know when you have good sex with someone because usually after your legs feel like noodles or you are just so tired from all of the work that you have just done that you fall right asleep. But what happens when you have sex that just isn't good at all? What do you tell that person? How do you react? What do you tell your friends? What do you do if he calls you again? What if you run into him somewhere? Im sure that most of us have gone through something like this and if you haven't you might want to keep reading. Typically when the sex is just terrible you have a few options that you can choose from, the first would be to tell that person the truth. Ok, typically in this situation, you just finished having almost the worst sex you have ever had and the guy next to you is just like, "Wow! that was amazing," usually he is waiting for you to agree, and this gives you the opportunity say, "oh yeah me too," and just never text his ass again, or you can tell him how you really feel about it. You could say something like, "yeah amazing, if i were a 17 year old and thought that sex was you having a seizure on top of me, then yeah it was amazing." That way he knows that it was terrible and could work on something before he decides to have sex with the next poor sucker. The truth hurts but at least you would be able to talk shit about how bad it was and tell your friends that you laid into the poor sucker. At least for his next hookup he would realized that seizures on top of someone is not sex. Now not all of us have the balls to really tell someone what we really thought of that act in which shouldn't be called sex but a science experiment, so we use our body language. Body language contributes to 70% of our actual language, so they way that your acting will be able to show how you really feel about this encounter. So you have a great deal of options but ill just talk about the two that are most common. One, you finish committing your unfortunate act with this guy, and leave right after. DO NOT STAY THE NIGHT. This is very important, if you stay at his house even if your drunk call a taxi, you give this guy the impression that is was good enough to stay at his place and possibly have to go through this god forsaken act in the morning. This would be a good time to lie and say that you have a meeting the next morning, or you have a family thing in the morning or something like that, and then never text the guy back. The second option is to make sure you leave and then warn all of your friends about the horrible sex that you had with this particular guy and make sure that they don't make the same mistake that you have. When this happens what you say will probably get back to him some way or another and when it does he will know that the reason you have been sending one word texts is because he should take some lessons in sex and stop watching so much porn. Typically the second and third questions come together simultaneously although there are many options for that one, but like i said those are the most common ones that occur to most guys. And, "what if he calls you again?" Well you can play this one as you feel comfortable because its your phone and your social life, some people would just not answer, others would give the one word responses until he hung up, but if you really just don't wanna talk to him ever again block his ass. When you do this no texts, no calls, and if you ever run into him again you could just say that you haven't been getting any of his calls and your phone is crazy. But if this ever happens you have come into contact with the last question, "what if you run into him somewhere?" This is where you find yourself in the most trouble, because if you run into him at the bar again and you have already had some drinks, you might find yourself in the same situation again. Because there is more than likely a chance that he is going to want to buy you another drink and see if he would be able to score again. This is where you have to play it cool, you might be drunk or kinda tipsy but if he offers you a drink then you run back to your friends as fast as you can. Going through one science experiment with this guy is probably one to many. But if your at Starbucks, the grocery market, or just out and about you would be able to find it easier to avoid him. Just remember although this guy sucked at sex doesn't mean that he will be the last one, you'll probably have a few more bad sexual encounters too. Sex is probably one of the most awkward and uncomfortable acts that you could do with someone but you dont have to make it more uncomfortable than it already has to be. In any case some of these tips might be able to help with those future experiments. But remember always where a condom and you can still get a STD from toilets.

All comments are always welcome so please leave some

Always and Forever 

Shane 

Breaking ups

When you love someone you usually find yourself doing the craziest shit. That could be for anyone that you love, your mom, your kids, or your the person that your in love with. It seems like there is just no bounds as to what you would do for them. But when so you know that what your doing is to much. I guess thats where you find that there is a difference in love. For your parents the limits would show within your relationship with them. Most of us would like to think that you would do anything for them but i'm sure that just isn't true. Your kids on the other hand i'm sure that you would give your left testicle or your life for that matter just to make sure that they will be ok. But when you are in love with someone and your not married and he's just your boyfriend, what is it that tells you that the love that you have for him can only stretch so far? It varies for everyone because we are all different, but the hardest part is letting go, you might think how much this guy actually meant to you. The break up part is something that varies for everyone too, so what do you do after you break up?Thats when you buy a gallon of ice cream, a case of wine, a pack of cigarettes, and an Amy Winehouse Album, and sit in your room get wasted while calling your best friends telling them how hurt you are in the slurred words that could barely communicate what happened. Plus having a mouth full of ice cream doesn't help you talk either. Break ups never really have them same effects for every relationship, but when you find yourself at that point of being both wasted from wine and ice cream you know that this person was someone who impacted your life. Whether you would like to acknowledge it or not there are those few moments in life that would bring to this point of embarrassment and this is one of them. But when you do this after every break up and your only dating this guy for a month, seriously bitch, get your ass up and go to the bar. Find a guy to take your ass home and just have sex with his ass. Because if your this torn up with a guy after a month you seriously might have some attachment issues and should find a therapist quick, because no man likes a clingy bitch. But if you had this guy for a while and didn't cheat on him, then i would say get the damn ice cream, and just let that shit out. Like i said all relationships are different and not all people are the same either, so our reactions are all different too. But when you loose someone that is that special to you, you deserve that tub of ice cream and as much wine as you wanna drink. Fuck the world with that whole bouncing back shit, you should just take a break.