In an earlier post by my Co-Writer DeMarco in which he talked about Divorce and how its really should be looked at as something that is helpful to someone's happiness in a bad marriage instead of something that is a social tragedy. Divorce as he says is helpful but i asked myself why most marriages dont work out in the first place? Most of us think that committing ourselves to our husband or wife through marriage is the ultimate solution to not being lonely anymore and be happy forever, well that just is not the case. Making the commitment of having a husband and or wife will change your life yes, but it will not stop you from feeling lonely and or having feelings that your significant other can not understand. I have listened to a few TEDX talks about love and belonging, and they have all said that being married does not solve the fact that your significant other will not completely understand you. We have close siblings and friends that are there for us when we need them the most, and most of these people have been there before we have met that other person. We have shared experiences with these people and have gone through life struggles with them as well. All of these struggles and experiences have gave us the relationship that we have with our families and friends. Now if we have been with significant other through these experiences of course your relationship will be stronger never the less, although it cant be said that you have shared all of your shit with them. The reason that we have best friends and really close siblings is because we share life experiences with them, even from a very young age. We allow ourselves to let go off all inhibitions and just be ourselves without worrying if someone will think differently about us. This not the same for our marriages. Because we will always have some inhibitions when we are with our significant other. We dont want them to think that we are stupid, or we want them to say we look pretty, so you buy nice clothes, get your hair done and what not. We have this unrealistic idea that the person that we call our significant other should be our other half. This is something that is profoundly dangerous. Because if we go through life thinking that there is someone out there that will complete us, then there will always be heartache and sorrow. Being married is a great celebration, but counting on someone being your partner for life and having them there because your happiness depends on it, is something that will always fail. We have siblings and best friends for these task, people that have seen us at our worst and our best, people that no matter what the case will always understand what your significant other can not. Having someone being there as our husband/wife will always have its benefits despite they can not completely understand you. Having your husband being there economically and emotionally are some of these contributors. Because we get married and share the our finances with them, meaning that you are able to think about having children and buying a new house, living in a place that is best for you and them. Emotionally you are able to confide in them by telling them some things that you feel comfortable with, expanding your life experiences from just your friends and family to someone that you love romantically. Being married although has some of its limitations will also bring new experiences and aspects to your life, although its a good idea to never lose those people that have brought you to this point and keep them as close as you can because as DeMarco says divorce could be the best solution to a bad marriage.
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