Tips for Bad Sex

Sex, everything about this word makes almost everyone blush or at least they feel a little uncomfortable when someone around them is talking about sex. They give a giggle, blush, or just completely leave the room, but really when you think about it sex it probably one of the best things that two people would be able to have together. You know when you have good sex with someone because usually after your legs feel like noodles or you are just so tired from all of the work that you have just done that you fall right asleep. But what happens when you have sex that just isn't good at all? What do you tell that person? How do you react? What do you tell your friends? What do you do if he calls you again? What if you run into him somewhere? Im sure that most of us have gone through something like this and if you haven't you might want to keep reading. Typically when the sex is just terrible you have a few options that you can choose from, the first would be to tell that person the truth. Ok, typically in this situation, you just finished having almost the worst sex you have ever had and the guy next to you is just like, "Wow! that was amazing," usually he is waiting for you to agree, and this gives you the opportunity say, "oh yeah me too," and just never text his ass again, or you can tell him how you really feel about it. You could say something like, "yeah amazing, if i were a 17 year old and thought that sex was you having a seizure on top of me, then yeah it was amazing." That way he knows that it was terrible and could work on something before he decides to have sex with the next poor sucker. The truth hurts but at least you would be able to talk shit about how bad it was and tell your friends that you laid into the poor sucker. At least for his next hookup he would realized that seizures on top of someone is not sex. Now not all of us have the balls to really tell someone what we really thought of that act in which shouldn't be called sex but a science experiment, so we use our body language. Body language contributes to 70% of our actual language, so they way that your acting will be able to show how you really feel about this encounter. So you have a great deal of options but ill just talk about the two that are most common. One, you finish committing your unfortunate act with this guy, and leave right after. DO NOT STAY THE NIGHT. This is very important, if you stay at his house even if your drunk call a taxi, you give this guy the impression that is was good enough to stay at his place and possibly have to go through this god forsaken act in the morning. This would be a good time to lie and say that you have a meeting the next morning, or you have a family thing in the morning or something like that, and then never text the guy back. The second option is to make sure you leave and then warn all of your friends about the horrible sex that you had with this particular guy and make sure that they don't make the same mistake that you have. When this happens what you say will probably get back to him some way or another and when it does he will know that the reason you have been sending one word texts is because he should take some lessons in sex and stop watching so much porn. Typically the second and third questions come together simultaneously although there are many options for that one, but like i said those are the most common ones that occur to most guys. And, "what if he calls you again?" Well you can play this one as you feel comfortable because its your phone and your social life, some people would just not answer, others would give the one word responses until he hung up, but if you really just don't wanna talk to him ever again block his ass. When you do this no texts, no calls, and if you ever run into him again you could just say that you haven't been getting any of his calls and your phone is crazy. But if this ever happens you have come into contact with the last question, "what if you run into him somewhere?" This is where you find yourself in the most trouble, because if you run into him at the bar again and you have already had some drinks, you might find yourself in the same situation again. Because there is more than likely a chance that he is going to want to buy you another drink and see if he would be able to score again. This is where you have to play it cool, you might be drunk or kinda tipsy but if he offers you a drink then you run back to your friends as fast as you can. Going through one science experiment with this guy is probably one to many. But if your at Starbucks, the grocery market, or just out and about you would be able to find it easier to avoid him. Just remember although this guy sucked at sex doesn't mean that he will be the last one, you'll probably have a few more bad sexual encounters too. Sex is probably one of the most awkward and uncomfortable acts that you could do with someone but you dont have to make it more uncomfortable than it already has to be. In any case some of these tips might be able to help with those future experiments. But remember always where a condom and you can still get a STD from toilets.

All comments are always welcome so please leave some

Always and Forever 

Shane